fuck i am having such bad anxiety issues today i wish this would just go away??? it's like i'll start thinking i'm finally getting a grip on this idiotic panic attack bullshit and i'll even sometimes go weeks without feeling anxious and then my brain is like wow autumn you're feeling a little too much like a normal person so it's time to fuck that up just to give you a reminder that you aren't normal you never were you never will be
and then everything falls apart and i'm back at square one again and i just feel sick i feel alone and i'm NOT alone i KNOW i'm not but sometimes i just really feel like i am which is stupid this whole thing is stupid i don't know i just wish my hands would stop shaking