It has become extremely apparent to me that the root of my anxiety (whether it be in social situations or with my webcomic) is my low self-esteem. I am going to focus really hard from now on to not be so critical of myself, because I have begun to doubt every fucking step I take, and it's just ridiculous. Floor 13 is supposed to just be for fun, just for practice, I am being way too critical about it and I refuse to feel itchy about it anymore. I'm going to focus more on the fact that it's supposed to be more of an art practice and not criticize the storyline anymore. I get nervous that people won't like it, but if they don't, then like, so what? If they stop reading it, that's ok. It's not a big deal, I have got to let that go.
[/F13 rant]
As for irl stuff, today was off to kind of a rocky start because Dad woke me up at the fucking asscrack of dawn (AKA 5:30AM) to make me take him to the E.R. I feel guilty about it now, but I was extremely cranky about it XD Damn, I was tired though, what do you expect! And the security guard was like, staring at me the whole time while I was in the waiting room. Aaaawkward.
I think he might've just been bored though. He looked like he was about to die of boredom :(
Anyway, the reason why Dad had to go to the E.R. in the first place was because of a severe anxiety attack (needless to say, anxiety runs in our family bad) and even after they gave him an injection, it took him forever to calm down. I didn't think he'd ever let me go back to sleep, aaagh.
I was also pissed off because our fridge broke, which meant no Diet Dr. Pepper. Anyone who knows me at all knows that's some serious bad news. Our fridge was replaced later today though so yesss I have Dr. Pepper now. whew. :(
OK SO LIKE I THINK I'VE RAMBLED ENOUGH? Kudos to you if you read all of that.
OC STUFF NOW ALRIGHT!
(Image-heavyish; if this kills your computer, complain to Blogger for not having cuts those bastardsss D:<)
Elk.
Haseo. Oh god his hair always gives me such a hard time.
Harlequin. D:< Shame on you Nimi for making such a hard character to draw!
Zero being cutesy I guess? :<
...I've come to realize that everyone looks a whole lot more gay with eyelashes lmfao.
4 comments:
Self confidence is hard, especially as a artist and especially with high anxiety. I'm glad you're starting to draw for yourself more than for others.
I'm glad things worked out with your dad.
And awesome Elk! I personally love the eyelashes. They inspire me to try and get better at them myself!
Thanks ;v; <3
I've suffered a lot in the past. I can feel you suffered too, it transpires from your pages even when you don't explicitly talk about something bad. I'm feeling very sorry for you and your family and your troubles.I just ran into a big trauma/shock in my life, but I got out of it much stronger and happier in a very short time. i might recommend you some books/movies which could inspire you too, just let me know if you'd like it! you can contact me in my blog or replying here. or anyway, if you'd like knowing me more, lemme know! my blog is half english half italian, and I'm sorry for my bad translations :)
Book recommendations are always appreciated :)
I envy that you can speak Italian, hahaha. I've always wanted to learn that language.
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